On Adoption

If you have considered adoption or know friends/family members who have adopted or are in the process, I'd recommend checking out this post by Justin Taylor.  In it, he has included a video about international adoption which brought tears to my eyes.  The need is immense, and as the video points out, the system is more and more difficult to wade through... hence the name of the film: STUCK -- because so many children are stuck within the system and cannot make it out to their parents.

Also, one book that I would highly recommend on adoption is Adopted for Life by Russell Moore.  Hugh and I were able to hear him speak while we were in AR, and so we bought his book since we were interested in adoption.  Having read through most of it now, I can say that it is a very helpful resource in thinking through the connection between Christian gospel and adoption; practical tips to guide you through the adoption process; and, many personal stories about adoption.  It was very encouraging to me and definitely reaffirmed our desire to adopt in the near future.


The Joy and Heartache of International Adoption  (By Justin Taylor, 3.11.13)

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Tips for: traveling (by car) with a little one

Here are a few tips that we've discovered to make traveling (by car) with a little one less burdensome.

Our king suite w/ divider for Enoch's pack n play

• Try to drive around their sleep schedule when possible (meaning, plan to drive your long stretches when they should be sleeping)
• Pack a few "favorite" toys and save the best ones for the inevitable meltdown that happens when you aren't able to stop (keep them where you can grab them easily and pass them back).
• Book your hotel strategically.  For us, this means looking for a king suite that has a divider between the bed & living area (see photo) so that we can set up Enoch's pack and play in the living area without him being able to see us (he really does best at falling asleep when he can't see anyone and it's darkish).  Depending on how you've trained your little one to fall asleep though, your preferred hotel arrangements might differ from ours.  I've found TripAdvisor to be a fairly reliable tool for finding just the right hotel (at the right price).  
• Bring plenty of healthy snacks because let's just be honest, eating on the road is less than healthy... (We really like fruit cups and/or apples & oranges because they travel well... bananas, not so much...  And Cheerios are always a good staple to have with you as well because they're not too messy for the carseat.)
• Remember that your little one is more important than your schedule.  Stopping to work through a meltdown (or two... or three...) is okay, even if it makes you late (I have to remind myself of this whenever I end up making more stops than expected with Enoch!).  

Any tips that you want to share about traveling (by car) with your little ones?

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FFF: Enoch's First Trip to the Beach

Here are some fun photos to chronicle Enoch's first trip to the beach.  We took an afternoon off to enjoy the warm weather, sand, and waves while we were in Gulfport interviewing midwives.

 

Little Man did a tremendous amount of pointing while we were there.  He was especially fascinated by the waves and the seagulls. 

 

Mama and her big boy

This was just to prove that Karis was there as well.  ;)

Here are a few sweet ones of Enoch and the beach:

Enoch just loved walking on the sand, but {interestingly enough} he did NOT like touching it!  Anytime he fell down and it got on his hands, he would act pitiful and need help brushing it off...  Maybe it was a texture issue?  Or maybe I've just been keeping this boy too clean all of his life?  Who knows!  

After we'd walked around quite a bit and taken all of our photos, I could really tell that Little Guy was still intrigued by the waves... in fact, it seemed like he wanted to touch them.  So I thought he'd really enjoy taking off his shoes/socks, rolling up his pants, and getting his feet wet.  Let's just say he didn't think it was a good idea at all.  haha!  As soon as his bare feet touched the wet sand down by the waves (I carried him to that point since there was so much debris a little higher up) he freaked out.  I tried to persuade him to step into the waves, but he just couldn't get over his feet getting sandy.  So, we retreated back to the stroller and then to the car where we had to have a snack break on the sidewalk in order to fully recover (see below).  Prime example of why this mama always has some Cheerios on hand.  ;)

And I can't leave this post without mentioning the gorgeous trees near the beach that I so enjoyed seeing.  I believe they are called "Live Oaks."  Having been to New Orleans a few times to help with Katrina rebuilding efforts, these trees became one of the things I loved most about the South.  In the areas nearest the gulf, these trees really stand out because they are sitting on vacant lots where storms of the past have swept away everything else except them.  What an image of strength and resilience!  And the landscape architect background within me just loves how architecturally fascinating each tree is because of its shape and size.  I especially love it when they are planted along the road and form a canopy over you as you drive...   If you haven't ever seen these beauties in person, let me just say that this picture doesn't do them justice!  

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Our Search for an OB Doctor or Midwife in Mississippi

As some of you may know from conversations with either Hugh or I, we have been trying to find a good, trustworthy OB Doctor or Midwife to deliver our sweet Karis in May.  This search has been an on-going one for months now due several factors, but in early February, we realized that we needed to get even more serious because our due date was fast approaching.

I should also say (as a partial preface) that doing a homebirth in our region of Mississippi is not something that Hugh and I feel comfortable with, mainly because we feel most confident using a CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) as opposed to a lay midwife, and the closest CPMs are at least 2-4 hours away.  We also feel most confident having a CPM who is a Christian, and those are even harder to come by (there is one we may consider using next time, but she was already booked near our due date by the time we contacted her).  And the reason that choosing an OB carefully is that Mississippi has HORRENDOUS c-section rates (see the map above)!!   And in my opinion, having a natural, intervention-free birth in the hospital (with a supportive OB) is the best way to avoid an unnecessary c-section.

So, when we first found out that we were pregnant, I had heard that there were 2 OBs in our town (out of maybe 6 or 7 within Starkville's only OB practice) who were open to natural childbirth.  I started seeing one of them who I'd specifically heard good things about from some women in town who had delivered with her.  Looking back now, I wish that I would've taken our birth plan (a one page paper stating the most important things for us about how labor/delivery/post-partum care should go) to our first meeting with her just to see where she stood.  But I didn't because usually doctors don't want to see those until you're closer to delivering... not to mention that I didn't have ours ready yet..  lesson #1 learned - the hard way!!  

This was our OB in AR, Dr. Chris Johnson.

Since you only go in 1x per month for the first 30 weeks of pregnancy, I wasn't able to show her our birth plan until week 24 (I tried at the 20 week appt, but she was too busy and frazzled from a long night of being on-call that she wasn't able to go over it, which is understandable.).  Anyway, at my 24 week appointment, several issues from our birth plan came up that she was unwilling and/or unable to compromise on,  as well as a handful of things that she would be okay with but not many of the other OBs in her practice would do for us. (In this practice, when you go into labor, you get whoever is on-call unless it's Tues-Fri, 7am-5pm.   This is not how our OB in Arkansas worked (we saw him until we were eligible for home birth at 37 weeks)... He delivered all of his patients' babies unless he was out of town.)  Anyway, some of the things that she was unable to compromise on or guarantee were: delayed cord clamping, in-room post-partum care for baby, having a doula in the room to help us labor, and natural delivery of the placenta (just to name a few).  After talking through many of these topics with her, I realized that she was not on the same page as me with what a "natural" labor/delivery meant.  Even though she was more open to some of the things we wanted, she seemed more medical-minded than I was hoping for, and I was unsure of how much trust I could put in her to follow through with specific parts of our birth plan that she wasn't as accustomed to.  So, we decided to put that OB practice on the back-burner as a satisfactory back-up plan while we searched for a care-provider that would fit our preferences more.

Unfortunately, by this point I was 24 weeks along!  I tried to make an appointment with an OB in a town 30 minutes away who I'd heard good things about, but she refused to see me, I think because I was considered a "transfer" patient rather than a new OB patient due to how far along I was.  At this point, our options were slimming down because the only other hospital within an hour of us has a c-section rate of 85% (stat found here from 2011 data, just search for "west point" and you'll find it on page 70)!!  So, we started looking at options a little further away from Starkville.

Thankfully, we had some friends recommend a few good options.  First was a hospital about 1.5 hours away in Meridian, MS where they have 6 midwives delivering babies alongside the OBs.  The other options were around 4 hours south in Gulfport or around 5 hours west in Baton Rouge.  So, I started making appointments with each, and thankfully through God's provision I was able to schedule them in such a way that I could make it a road trip and visit each one w/in a 3 day window.  :)  This was such a blessing for us because by this point I was 28 weeks pregnant and feeling more and more anxious about finding someone we trusted.

This was the hospital in Gulfport we
visited.. don't you love the palm tree?

So, Enoch and I loaded up this past Monday morning and headed south.  Our first stop was in Meridian, and we really liked the midwife that we met with there.  She answered all of our questions and "what-if" scenerios (which I hope to post about later) and reviewed our birth plan with me.  She was super friendly and helpful, and I feel like she's much less medically-minded (meaning that she wants to assist a woman's body to naturally deliver the baby while closely watching for any signs that the woman or baby needs help... because not every delivery goes smoothly).  I drove away feeling good about that option.

Next, Enoch and I met with a midwife in Gulfport who also delivers alongside OBs in a hospital (though there are only 3 midwives in this practice).  She was nice and willing to answer many of my questions, but she was a newer midwife (only 1 year of licensure under her belt) and seemed to be more medical-minded than the one in Meridian.  And, she was pretty concerned about the 4 hour drive to get to her since Karis is baby #2 (labor can shorten immensely with #2).  So she actually advised us to use the midwife in Meridian.  ;)

We met the homebirth midwife at Panera,
which was such a treat since I haven't even
seen a Panera since we left AR!!

Then, on Tuesday, Enoch and I met with a home birth midwife in Gulfport.  We have a few friends who've delivered with her, and she is the one who actually comes to Starkville for delivery if she doesn't have anyone else with a due date close to yours.  I really loved talking with her, and I feel like she might be a good option for one of our future babies.  Unfortunately, she already has someone with a due date close to ours this time.  And, I think Hugh and I don't want to chance the 4 hour drive since there's only one hospital on the way.  :)

 After talking with Hugh about the midwives I'd met with, we decided to move forward with the midwife in Meridian.  So I canceled the appointment in Baton Rouge (since it was also a long drive from Starkville and wouldn't have been a good idea w/ baby #2).  This worked out well because Little Guy and I were able to enjoy a free afternoon in Gulfport (pictures coming soon!) and then make our way home leisurely on Wednesday.

Overall,  I'd say the trip went well, and we are both so thankful to feel comfortable with the midwife in Meridian.  I still have my next appointment in Starkville that I plan to keep since I need to get a Rhogam shot.  I scheduled it with a different OB this time though so that I can meet her just in case we end up delivering there in an emergency (this hospital actually has one of the lowest c-section rates in our state).  And then, I plan to transfer my care to Meridian.

Sorry this ended up being such a long post!  If you read through all of it, I hope you feel updated about where we are in this decision.  Hugh and I loved our home birth with Enoch, and I feel like the Lord perfectly blessed and protected that birth with those women (including my mom).  However, Hugh and I have always said that using a midwife at a birth center or hospital would be our ideal option.  The closer we move toward using the midwife in Meridian, the more confident and comfortable I feel about this decision for this birth (no guarantees about future babies), and that's a good place to be patiently waiting for Karis' arrival.  :)


**I have tried to leave most of these care providers' names off of this post, but if you are in our area and interested in more details about any of the providers I mentioned, please just contact me via email, and I can give you more details.**

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On Being Mentored

One of my sweet mentors back in AR and her kiddos

I thoroughly appreciated this blog post by Jodi Ware over at The Gospel Coalition a few days ago, so I thought I'd share it here.  The post is about being mentored (also known as being discipled), which is so near and dear to my heart because I can say without a doubt that being mentored by older, godly women (and mentoring other believers as well) has been one of the most fertile seedbeds of spiritual growth in my own personal life.  

Having just moved to a new town (and state for that matter) around 8 months ago, I can also say without a doubt that lacking these mentoring relationships has been one of the biggest holes that I have felt (and still feel) about our move (I think this is the case simply because relationships take time to develop, not because there aren't qualified women here to disciple younger women like myself...).  Anyway, let's just say that I've been praying more and more that the Lord would bring faithful, older women into my life to disciple me and fill this hole that I notice so regularly... as well as younger women whom I can mentor.

Another sweet, sweet lady who has mentored me
mainly by sharing her life with me (again, back in AR).

Back to Jodi's post though... She keenly points out that being mentored can happen in multiple ways, even without a formal weekly one-to-one or small group meeting.  This was such a good reminder to me!  I've certainly been mentored in one-to-one settings as well as by simply being around specific women and watching them live life in light of the gospel.  Both are good.  Jodi also pointed out a few other important ways that we should be seeking to grow spiritually whether we have these deep relationships with other women or not.  I'm hoping to heed some of her advice during this dry season of mentorship as I continue praying for God's provision of godly mentors in this new place.

I'd encourage you to go over and check out her ideas on being mentored as well as her own examples of how she strives to be faithful in mentoring other women... I think you'll be encouraged and challenged, no matter where you fall right now in regard to being mentored/mentoring.

How to Be Mentored Without a Mentor (2.28.2013)

  

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Preparing for Birth

This is one of those posts intended to mainly help me keep some goals but also to share with other expecting mommies who want to prepare for their own labor and delivery.  If you're a guy, this is probably not the blog post for you.  ;)

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So, like I mentioned in a previous post,  I'm attempting to intensify my labor preparation for the rest of pregnancy (all of third trimester).  Here is a list of the things that I think are important (especially for achieving a natural, un-medicated childbirth), and how I'm preparing for them (most of these are straight from our Bradley Method class that we took to prepare for birth with Enoch, which we would highly recommend to expecting parents):

• stamina - walking or exercising 4-5 times a week.
• strength & flexibility - stretching and doing pregnant exercises everyday (squats, kegels, tailor sitting, pelvic rocks, butterflies).
• increased blood volume {this is very important since blood loss during/after delivery is common and can lead to complications for many women} - drinking ChlorOxygen (from a tincture) in my water & tea, eating iron-rich foods, and eating vitamin C-rich foods to help with iron absorption.  I will also probably begin taking an iron supplement soon, but I need to ask my doc how much per day is best for me...  ALWAYS ask your doc before beginning to take any supplement while you're pregnant, especially since many prenatals have at least some iron in them!
• healthy baby - eating a healthy diet rich in protein and fresh fruits/veggies.  

Although I've been doing most of these to some degree throughout pregnancy, I feel like the last 12 weeks are a good time to focus and work hard at preparing for birth.  I'm sure I won't keep these goals perfectly, but writing them down sure does help to see that they're manageable!  :)

For those of you who are going to be first time mamas (or who are considering trying for a natural, un-medicated birth), here are some other recommendations:

• Write up a birth plan that outlines what is important for you during labor/delivery/post-partum and talk it over with your doctor/midwife.  You'll want them to approve and sign it before you're 37 weeks along.  
• Hire a doula (labor assistant) to help you labor; they are a tremendous help in achieving natural childbirth whether you're at home or in the hospital... In fact, I wouldn't want to be delivering at a hospital without one, personally!!  We loved having 2 doulas last time (one was an old pro, the other was training under her), and they were both amazingly helpful.
• Take a birth class with your husband... preferably one not offered from the hospital (because you will want more than 4-8 hrs of class time to absorb everything about birth AND getting an outside perspective is always incredibly helpful!!).  We recommend the Bradley Method of childbirth, like I mentioned above, but there are probably other good class options as well.  
• Take a breastfeeding class (one from the hospital is probably good if your hospital has a certified lactation consultant teaching it).  You could also go to some La Leche League meetings to learn and ask questions about nursing (and to meet some helpful ladies who will gladly walk with you through any complications you might have later).

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FFF: The Nightly Game of Ball at our House

Just a quick video for your For the Family Friday post this week...

This game of ball is a regular occurrence once Hugh gets home in the evening while I get dinner ready... And I just love to hear my boys in there laughing together so much!   :)

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